Tag Archives: cause of stress

Society’s Foundation Philosophy: IF YOU ARE GOOD, YOU WILL GET! Pt. 1

When investigating the cause of psychological stress in society, we are trying to find which beliefs are behind it, not which life events. We are trying to find what beliefs all people with psychological stress (and mental illness) have in common with each other.

If you look into this, you find that society has a foundation philosophy which is so ingrained that most people are unaware they live by it.  It can be called the “If you are good, you will get philosophy. What does it mean? It means “If you do what we want you to do, we will give you what you need to grow and survive”. Our mind is subjected to this philosophy everyday.

For example:

  • At home: “If you’re good, you’ll get a treat”;
  • At school/university:  “If you’re good, you’ll get a pass or a prize”;
  • At work: “If you’re good, you’ll get a promotion”;
  • In relationships: “If you’re good, you’ll win their affection”
  • In religion: “If you’re good, you’ll go to heaven”.

This philosophy might not sound too scary at first, but what does it really mean to the subconscious mind? Well, it means that YOU CAN MISS OUT on your needs. In order to not miss out, you must first gain the approval/love of whoever or whatever is supposed to give you your requirements for development. To gain approval, you must prove you are a worthwhile investment (valuable) by displaying that you have something to offer. To have something to offer, you must get out there and achieve something with your life, and make it unfold in a way which is seen to offer value. This is the chain of thought which is set up by the “If you are good, you will get” foundation philosophy:

Summary of Relating to Life program. -3

So it really means that you have to live up to a particular standard in order to prove you are worthy of continuing to develop and survive. When the chain of thought is reversed, we can see what causes people to be so scared. It is a FEAR OF MISSING OUT:

Summary of Relating to Life program. -2

It is this fear of missing out which is causing people to be so stressed out, because to the subconscious, missing out equals death! No wonder so many people are running around feeling that they must live up to certain expectations! A person’s mind affected by high levels of stress is subconsciously wired to believe that certain outcomes MUST be brought into existence before they can feel they have done well, and can consider their life to be a success. This criteria for how people believe their life must unfold can be thought of as their “achievement box”. As people grow up, due to the many influences upon them, people become convinced about what represents a successful life. Whatever criteria that entails, it will be place in their achievement box, and they will believe the success and value of their life is connected to creating that existence. Subconsciously, they will believe death is connected to failing to create it.Summary of Relating to Life program. -4

Here’s a few examples of what people can place in their achievement box:

“As long as I get married, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I’m a good parent, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I’m a sports star, I’ve done well”.

“As long as I can travel the world, I’ve done done well.”

“As long as I have a successful career, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I reach my full potential, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I can keep everyone happy, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I can devote my life to helping others, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I make it to heaven, I’ve done well.”

What do you think you have in your achievement box?

Advertisements

The cause of stress: Is it caused by beliefs or events?

If you listen to different people talk about stress, you will find you can break it down into two opinions on what is the cause of such stress. The first opinion is that the stress is caused by the situations we encounter. It is claimed that people who are stressed are having the wrong life events, and need to make better decisions on where to take their life. I.e. “You’ve got the wrong job, wrong house, wrong partner, wrong friends etc etc.”. This is the philosophy which leads people to believe life is about “finding your path”, and that people can be in need of guidance down their correct path.

For example, say you are driving to work and you take a wrong turn and end up on a road that is completely congested with traffic. As you sit there looking at the car in front blocking your way, you start to get a bit stressed out. You glance at the time and notice that you’re going to be late. Your heart rate goes up, you start breathing faster and getting very frustrated and angry with yourself for taking the wrong turn. You think to yourself “if this event hadn’t happened then I wouldn’t be so stressed. I’m having the wrong event – that’s the cause of my stress”.

The second opinion is that stress has nothing to do with the events we encounter, but is rather triggered by our mental assessment of such events. If two people can face the same event, with one being stressed and the other not so much, it means they are assessing the situation via different beliefs. It is our thoughts and beliefs which are the real cause of our stress, even though events do play a role in how we come to hold certain beliefs.

Going back to the traffic example, say you then starting thinking about the real cause of your stress. Maybe you thought “hang on, does every person who is in this situation get stressed?” Because if the situation of getting caught in traffic and running late to work directly caused psychological stress then it would be impossible for someone to be in that situation and not feel stressed. Yet surely there are some people who may even laugh at the situation. This is because they are viewing the event though different belief systems.

This is something that I discovered firsthand when full blown panic attacks would come out of nowhere even when I was doing something like watching a favourite TV show while on holiday or eating a favourite meal. I learnt quickly that the difference between misery or happiness has little to do with what situation I am in, but is instead governed completely by what such situations mean to me and what I was thinking.

None of this means we shouldn’t try to change a situation we don’t like. Obviously if you are in a relationship where you are being beaten up, it would make sense to try and get out of that relationship. But if you want to know what the cause of your stress is  – look at your beliefs.