Tag Archives: FOMO

Can We Miss Out? Is death an example of missing out?

The If you are good, you will get foundation philosophy which society lives by teaches us that unless we can prove our worth, we will miss out on our requirements for development and survival. This is really just another way of saying we will DIE.  Missing out equals death to the subconcious mind, because most people believe death is a case of missing out. In society, we are often taught that death is inherently bad, and always to be feared. Of course, death is a very real thing, and one of the only guarantees in life. But is death really an example of missing out? Is it actually possible to miss out on your requirements for development and survival?

Well let’s start with survival. Your requirements for survival include everything your physical body needs in order stay alive long enough to receive the development (life experiences) you were meant to* receive. Everyone who is alive is obviously receiving these requirements or they would not be alive. Everyone who is dead has already received these requirements. They now either no longer exist and so there is no-one there who can be missing out, or you could say that the components they are made of have moved on and are performing work elsewhere, and so they live on in a sense. If you believe in some form of afterlife, this is still not a case of missing out. The only view of afterlife which includes missing out is the idea of being eternally punished in hell, and this is obviously an incorrect concept which has evolved out the notion of free will and the if you are good, you will get philosophy.  So no one ever misses out on their requirements for survival and existence. But what about development? Well that all depends on which model you are using to measure the success and progress of your life. If you believe that development is measured by the accomplishment of desired outcomes, then you will most definitely have many times when it feels like you are missing out on what you need. On the other hand, if you understand that development is correctly measured by the gaining of wisdom – an accurate account of reality, and that every experience you ever go through facilitates this development, then you will understand that no, it is impossible for anyone to ever miss out on the requirements for their development or survival! This certainly does not mean you will ever live up to the superhuman feat of never getting lost amonst incorrect thoughts and experiencing the fear these thoughts cause. It happens to everyone – to be human means to be in a process of growth.

But of course, people most definitely die. So if death is not a case of missing out on our needs for survival and development, what on earth is it? Well, it is simple. Death is change. Nothing more. Death is simply a process of change. And this process of change is how the world works, so to call it “bad” is not very wise. They say the earth and ourselves were born from the ashes of dead stars. I think this is a good metaphor to explain that death and birth are just two sides of the same coin.

Of course it is completely human and to be expected that the death of a loved one would bring on some form of grief. And of course since every person is performing a valuable role, it makes sense to try and preserve life. But in order to help someone who is suffering after the death of a loved one,  I think Byron Katie has the best advice: Thank the person for dying right on time.

*By “meant to” I mean that a person’s life unfolds the only way that it can given everything involved in the process which causes it to go that way.  They receive the only life span possible.


Society’s Foundation Philosophy: IF YOU ARE GOOD, YOU WILL GET! Pt. 1

When investigating the cause of psychological stress in society, we are trying to find which beliefs are behind it, not which life events. We are trying to find what beliefs all people with psychological stress (and mental illness) have in common with each other.

If you look into this, you find that society has a foundation philosophy which is so ingrained that most people are unaware they live by it.  It can be called the “If you are good, you will get philosophy. What does it mean? It means “If you do what we want you to do, we will give you what you need to grow and survive”. Our mind is subjected to this philosophy everyday.

For example:

  • At home: “If you’re good, you’ll get a treat”;
  • At school/university:  “If you’re good, you’ll get a pass or a prize”;
  • At work: “If you’re good, you’ll get a promotion”;
  • In relationships: “If you’re good, you’ll win their affection”
  • In religion: “If you’re good, you’ll go to heaven”.

This philosophy might not sound too scary at first, but what does it really mean to the subconscious mind? Well, it means that YOU CAN MISS OUT on your needs. In order to not miss out, you must first gain the approval/love of whoever or whatever is supposed to give you your requirements for development. To gain approval, you must prove you are a worthwhile investment (valuable) by displaying that you have something to offer. To have something to offer, you must get out there and achieve something with your life, and make it unfold in a way which is seen to offer value. This is the chain of thought which is set up by the “If you are good, you will get” foundation philosophy:

Summary of Relating to Life program. -3

So it really means that you have to live up to a particular standard in order to prove you are worthy of continuing to develop and survive. When the chain of thought is reversed, we can see what causes people to be so scared. It is a FEAR OF MISSING OUT:

Summary of Relating to Life program. -2

It is this fear of missing out which is causing people to be so stressed out, because to the subconscious, missing out equals death! No wonder so many people are running around feeling that they must live up to certain expectations! A person’s mind affected by high levels of stress is subconsciously wired to believe that certain outcomes MUST be brought into existence before they can feel they have done well, and can consider their life to be a success. This criteria for how people believe their life must unfold can be thought of as their “achievement box”. As people grow up, due to the many influences upon them, people become convinced about what represents a successful life. Whatever criteria that entails, it will be place in their achievement box, and they will believe the success and value of their life is connected to creating that existence. Subconsciously, they will believe death is connected to failing to create it.Summary of Relating to Life program. -4

Here’s a few examples of what people can place in their achievement box:

“As long as I get married, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I’m a good parent, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I’m a sports star, I’ve done well”.

“As long as I can travel the world, I’ve done done well.”

“As long as I have a successful career, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I reach my full potential, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I can keep everyone happy, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I can devote my life to helping others, I’ve done well.”

“As long as I make it to heaven, I’ve done well.”

What do you think you have in your achievement box?